Underpinnings (07.15.15)

Today I wrote words in response to music (mostly Arvo Part), to my state of mind and to the paper. No. 3 was written on lab paper. I will eventually work into these but am documenting words and calligraphy for now.

I have an idea to work on paper that has my words as the background, rather than always working on printed paper with someone else’s words. Paper with my words, whether I handwrite or whether I use a copier to print them, adds another dimension–the entire work is mine.

I photographed these on my drawing table and liked seeing part of the table as a border for No. 3.

No. 1: there is no way to make sense of so much sadness that arises unbidden borne of conditions coming together but lack of awareness allows it to come unnoticed like a thief like a cop like a child fearful of rejection so much fear so much sorrow the heart of the earth of the mother is the only place vast enough she can hold worlds of hurt and transform them into dirt press them into stone into diamonds into things so precious we only need to press our forehead on her wide bosom to know to understand to wake up

No. 2: aloneness that is all i seem to cultivate i am very good at this yet i learn nothing whatever i learn stays here in this room in this house between me and the cat who never asks what i know but who never fails to ask to be fed feed me feed me feed me so many mouths crying crying crying to be fed feed me feed

No. 3: let’s turn this looking this codifying this measuring this keeping of detailed notes this obsession with input and output this concern with the primacy of data this love of columns of numbers that add up to profits let’s turn it all over let’s drop it on it’s head it’s lies all lies telling us one thing while forsaking all others awarding certificates and papers meaningless to life to the survival of species to our lost and precious hearts

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